I present you my friend, Ethan, in the background. He’s in NYC and this is what he does.

I’m in my Mom and Dad’s Documents folder and look what I found. WTF

Holy crap my captain’s picture was on the front page of reddit. I’m dead

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/10pzfc/my_sister_had_her_tooth_knocked_out_in_the_middle/

one time I had this beta fish who lasted like a year
his name was peta (from the hunger games)
I loved his little peta-y ass
then one day I cleaned his tank and put him in a temp tank
when I put him back in his regular bowl, I dropped him in the sink
:O
he fell in the garbage disposal :O
my dad was a hero and pulled him out
he was a little ripped but otherwise fine
and lived like 4 more mths
RIP Peta, you sexy beast 

omg look at my new background

im dead

Day 3 lolz for my mom

look at fainting goats on youtube
you won’t regret it. 

• My sister: WOAH THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS
• Me: 
• My sister: TIME TO GET MY JUICE!!!

Omg this. When I put I lost my bread. (btw, when he says peter, he’s talking about my bunny)

LOL I thought this was hilarious when it came up on my dash.